and not the Cosmic Kind

I lost my cellphone a couple of days ago and spent much angsty time tearing things apart in my office, our house, etc. trying to find it. At one point I decided that it had gone where all the missing socks go when they disappear from the dryer, or wherever it is a cat goes when you want to put him in the carrier to go to the vet. It’s a strange no space where things disappear to and may or may not return.  Also at one point, when I had despaired of ever finding my trusty phone, I decided that maybe that’s what the missing mass in the universe is — socks, cellphones, keys, term papers, unpaid traffic tickets, charge slips, etc.

Fortunately, my delusion only lasted a short time. I found the cellphone and it was NOT in some cosmic or metaphysical no-space — thankfully. So, astronomers and cosmologists will have to look elsewhere for their missing mass — Petersen’s Law of Lost Cellphones is NOT the explanation. It’s still most likely dark matter.