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astrology, pseudo-science, pseudo-science claims, psychic, psychoceramics

OMG, My Life is Ruined! My Astrological Sign is Wrong!

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Astrology is Bunk

Oh wow.  Can we get a life for all those folks who are COMPLETELY up in arms because they just NOW found out something that astronomers and all other sensible people have known for centuries: that astrological signs do not line up with the constellations they purportedly represent. This story hit the news a few days ago, and you would think that the world was ending judging by the panicked reactions of those whose lives are measured by little boxes of BS that appear as “astrological advice” in newspapers and magazines.

Folks, astrology is bunk.  I said it up there.  And I’ll say it again. Astrology is bunk.  It doesn’t work. It is a parlor game, a shell game, a way for people who otherwise don’t have any visible means of support to take your money and pretend to tell your future, etc.  It has NO basis in science, in reality, and shouldn’t have any meaning for you other than as fascinating historical oddity dating back to the time when people were superstitious, ignorant of reality, and willing to believe anything… not like now, right?

oh…. wait…

Logic cleanup in aisle three, please!

If you want to know why astrology doesn’t work, let’s start with the fact that, yes, the astrological signs (made up by ancient shamans who had very little understanding of physical processes but who, even in prehistory, had found a way to make mystical BS pay) don’t line up with the constellations they’re supposedly named for.  That’s explained by an entirely measurable and predictable process called precession, which you can read about here (and the first paragraph explains it pretty well, along with the moving graphic).

Then, let’s move on to the often-ignored FACT that a planet moving through the solar system has NO effect on you at your birth or at any time during your life. Its gravity isn’t strong enough to do anything to you (and I have to wonder just how a planet’s gravitational pull would affect your ability to make love or money or win the lottery, but I digress).  A distant planet has NO mysterious powers to predict who you will marry, what your life’s work will be, how much money you’ll win in a game of chance, or any of the other stuff that astrologers claim it can do.  Ask an astrologer how they actually physically measure the powers of the planets in astrology. Then, laugh at the answer, because it won’t make any sense.

Fact is folks, astrology had a useful lifetime of a few centuries many centuries ago when folks didn’t understand the sky and believed in magical beings and fluffy unicorns and other things that we now know don’t exist now.  Astrologers’ study of the sky helped them create star charts, which are the only remaining link between the old outmoded magical beliefs and today’s modern scientific study of the universe called astronomy.

Astrology is a fantasy.  And fantasies have their place. But, in a useful, modern life, the fantasy of astrology should be just no more than a make-believe game. If you use it to predict your love life, your next raise, the stock market, or anything else, you’re living in a fantasy world of your own choosing, not reality.

If you want to know more about why astrology is not a serious science, please read the excellent article at the Astronomical Society of the Pacific’s website called Horoscopes Versus Telesscopes: A Focus on Astrology.

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I Knew That

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Predictable Human Reactions

I’m going to steal a page from my friend Phil Plait’s** playbook today and write about a silliness of the human condition that would be funny if it weren’t so sad: consulting psychics.

In paging through the news the past few days, I ran across a story about how more and more Americans are turning to psychics for advice as the economy tanks.

I’m having a hard time understanding this, mostly because psychics and the “advice” they peddle are pure bunkum.  Anybody who has lost their job, or is about to lose their house, or their savings who takes what little money they have left and spends it on “psychic” advice from someone who purports to “know” the future is simply wasting money they can’t afford to lose.  Worse, they’re being taken advantage of by hucksters at a time when they’re most vulnerable.  Pretty low stuff, especially since there’s absolutely NO scientific data or evidence that points to the existence of anybody being able to read minds or tell the future. None.

But, these practitioners make a living at their “trade”, which tells me that not everybody is a skeptic.

What exactly does one get when one “consults” a psychic?  I tried it once when I was a teenager and I felt like I’d been taken. I was ushered into this dark room and while I dark adapted and listened to spooky music, this woman bade me to sit down. Before she would say another word she informed me that the spirits didn’t speak until an offering was given.

Once she had my $5.00 in her hands, she then proceeded to study my palm and describe all kinds of interesting things about me that weren’t true. She populated her “reading” with all kinds of predictions of wealth and tall, dark, handsome men who I was going to meet and marry (presumably serially).  Oh, and I was going to have many children and win some money. And, she said, I’d be visiting exotic lands.  And, I’d probably end up in movies.

It was the verbal equivalent of a horoscope, where horoscopists just pretty much fling very general things at you hoping that some of it will stick and you’ll believe that the planets somehow foretold them. Her reading was a potpourri of generalities and nothing very specific about me in particular.  And, it really didn’t help me feel any better, especially since I’d wasted $5.00 on her “services.”

So, I wonder… what exactly is a psychic going to tell someone after they’ve lost their job or house or retirement money?   Somehow I think that “You will win the lottery”  or “Things will look up for you soon” isn’t going to cut it… and in fact, stuff like that just preys on people’s hopes.

Here’s my prediction about pychics who take advantage of economic downturns (and I won’t even charge for it): psychics are going to tell their marks pretty much anything just so long as money gets paid up front.  It’s too bad that the downturn in the market will be good for psychics and others who take advantage of people’s misfortunes. It’s despicable, but unfortunately it’s completely understandable as part of the human condition.

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**Phil Plait is a notable skeptic and is, in fact, President of the James Randi Educational Foundation. His blog, Badastronomy, features a lot of news about astronomy and space science, but he also writes a LOT about debunking myths, thinking skeptically, and pointing out bad science in politics, movies, and the press.He’s also a friend of mine and a damned good writer!