What is it about stargazing that draws so many fruitloops out of the closet? I’ve often wondered this while scanning the sky looking for my favorite objects. There’s something so intrinsically beautiful about the stars and planets. They’re just there being stars and planets. Most stars shine by consuming hydrogen fuel in their cores and venting the energy generated as light. Planets reflect the light of the Sun, and they orbit the Sun in predictable paths.
So, why is it these predictable, physical motions and activities draw out what a friend of mine often refers to as the “psychoceramics” experts? (translation: crackpots) I’ll be darned if I know for sure, but my guess is that there’s an innate human need for the mysterious — and since the stars and planets can’t be touched (easily), they’re good candidates for fuzzy applications of the mysterious and arcane.
Take Mars, for example. It orbits the Sun every 687 days, almost but not quite twice as long as it takes Earth to go once around the Sun. Both planets go round and round, like two kids on a merry-go-round. One planetary kid is on the inner circle, the other is on an outer circle. Every 17 years or so, the two planets end up near each other in their orbits; Mars looks big and bright in our sky, and if somebody on Mars could see us (and Earth wasn’t lost in the glare of the Sun), we’d look pretty bright and big in their sky, too. This is an entirely predictable, natural consequence of planets in orbit around a star.
This summer a huge number of amateur astronomers (and a bunch of professionals, too!) are aiming their telescopes at Mars and taking this opportunity to study the Red Planet in detail. They’re all quite dedicated to the scientific study of the planet and they’re capable of turning out some amazing work. One of the best is Don Parker — a member of the Association of Lunar and Planetary Observers (and one of the funniest guys I’ve ever met). His images regularly grace the Association of Lunar and Planetary Observers (ALPO) site.

Now, the amateur and professional astronomers aren’t the confused types I was referring to in my opening sentence. No, the folks I’m thinking of are whipping themselves into hysteria over this perihelic opposition of Mars (that’s what it’s officially called). And they aren’t likely to be outside actually observing the planet. Why let reality stand in the way of a good fantasy?

My charitable suggestion is that the folks who are invoking Mars as an astrological influence or even worse are ignorant of the physical processes that are at play here in the solar system. My not-so-charitable suggestion is that these people are using the Mars perihelic opposition to make some money, make a name for themselves, and/or go on a little power trip using fake scientific terminology and people’s gullibility to their advantage.
One “PhD” in astrology (no, I’m not mentioning any names (why give him/her free publicity?) is claiming that Mars’s energy signature in one’s horoscope could be causing people to be upset, overworked, suffering from ego-inflation, and engaging in fault-finding of one’s fellow workers or family members this summer. Gosh, do ya really think so???
Of course it HAS to be Mars, rather than, oh say, the recent spate of hot weather in many parts of the world. Nobody would blame personality glitches and short tempers on anything logical when a planet some 55 million kilometers away is a much more convenient source of bad karma. Right? Of course not. That wouldn’t be profitable.
A little word of advice here: astronomy’s a great science. It’s one you can do for yourself. And it’s one you can learn for yourself. You don’t need a mystic guru to read your tea leaves or use psychoceramic powers to interpret the Martian movements for you (all for a fee). Sure, you might need help from a friendly observer or a few finder charts from someplace helpful like SkyandTelescope.com — but they’re just there to help. Not do your thinking for you.
Step out there one of these summer nights around midnight and check out the stars and planets. Mars will be the one shining in the south east (if you’re in the Northern Hemisphere), and it’s reddish white! No special tools required to see it!